They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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