thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize