I seem to have left my pride at pride
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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