On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
