I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize