apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Shame is for Republicans.
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