His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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