You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
