Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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