I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
