Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
