How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
