OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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