Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
