i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
