the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
