I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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