I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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