Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am full of burrito and curiosity
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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