You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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