Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
