The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
