Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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