I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
