she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
