Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
