Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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