I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
