Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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