Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
