I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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