Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
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I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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