I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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