the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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