Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
