i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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