What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
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Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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