But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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