Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
