I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
