Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize