I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
