doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
