When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dicks are not precious.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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