absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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