The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
May the power of my ass compel you!!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
