So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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