she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
