Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
