It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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