when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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