she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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