Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
