I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
