HIV tests are more positive than that guy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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