are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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