dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think my fart just growled at me.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
