i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
