So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
