If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
