just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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